told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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