Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
