I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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