we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
