I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
