no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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