Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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