Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
