Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
