SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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