Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
