he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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