North Korea, Best Korea!
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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