just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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