glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
