My room smells like vodka and shame
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
