it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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