Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
