so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
