I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
