Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He shit in the fireplace
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
