been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize