even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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