I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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