I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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