i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
