Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
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