I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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