just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
