He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
