chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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