so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
