you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
COCAINE IS GR8
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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