Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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