pedialite and red bull = repair kit
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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