Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
