I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
