some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
