Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
