her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
