And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
