sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
