Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
