I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
