i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
