Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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