I seem to have left my pride at pride
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You pole danced in your parka.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
