return my video game
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Randomize
