i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
God I need to hump something, right now.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
