just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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